I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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