My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
