its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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