Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You pole danced in your parka.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
