you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
