butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
