i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Randomize
