apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
