ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
