the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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