apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
