Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
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my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
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Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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