I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
