dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
