I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
My feet surprised me
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