i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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