Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
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