She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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