That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
