your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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