I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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