In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Pants are for mortals
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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