After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
