my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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