A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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