Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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