i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
