she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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