so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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