oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
