Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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