i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize