I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
