So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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