with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
