it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
