Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
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