I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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