and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Randomize
