I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
