Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
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At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
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Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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