in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
if only i could text you this smell
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
