Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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