just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
