My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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