i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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