I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
you inspire me to be a worse person
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
