So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
