using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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