Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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