Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
