is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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