I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
