I wish I only lived at night.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
did you just send me my own nude
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
